Resolutions

My goal was to lose 10 pounds. Only 15 to go!
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered in tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza!
How to prepare Tofu! A- Throw it in the trash. B- Grill some MEAT!
I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider’s web!
I don’t mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet thru shag carpet to change the TV channel.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… I forgot where I was going with this.
I love being 50! I learn something new every day… and forget 5 others.
I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.