Monthly Archives: December 2017

No resolutions for me…

No Resolutions

Calvin Resolutions

Calvin Resolutions

RIP Rose Marie

Rose Marie Mazetta (August 15, 1923 – December 28, 2017)

Rose Marie, best known for her role as Sally Rogers on “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” who had a nine-decade career in show business, died Thursday in Van Nuys, Calif. She was 94.

Publicist Harlan Boll confirmed her death.

Rose Marie was Emmy nominated three times for her work on “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” in which she played part of the writing team, led by Van Dyke’s Rob Petrie, for the fictional “Alan Brady Show.” The actress began a five-season stint as Sally Rogers in 1960.

The recent documentary “Wait For Your Laugh” by director Jason Wise chronicled her long career. Late in life she enjoyed communicating with her fans on social media. Her official account tweeted just a few hours before her death about playing the Flamingo in Las Vegas.

Decades earlier, she had been a child singing star under the name Baby Rose Marie. She began her career at 3, starring in her own show on NBC radio by the age of 5, cutting records and appearing in vaudeville, in shorts including 1929’s “Baby Rose Marie the Child Wonder” and in Paramount’s 1933 feature “International House” with W.C. Fields.

Variety founder Sime Silverman himself mentioned Rose Marie in its pages for “The Child Wonder,” writing, “Though but a kidlet, she seemed to have an idea of her own.”

Later, as a teenager, she became a nightclub singer before returning to radio as a comedienne.

In the early 1950s Rose Marie appeared on television variety shows as a singer and dancer, and she returned to the bigscreen in 1954, starring opposite Phil Silvers in “Top Banana,” an adaptation of Silvers’ Broadway show about a TV comedian.

The actress recurred on “The Bob Cummings Show” as Martha in 1958-59, and she was a series regular on a brief TV adaptation of “My Sister Eileen.” After “The Dick Van Dyke Show” she guested on a variety of TV shows, including “The Monkees” and “My Three Sons,” and she recurred on “The Doris Day Show.”

During the 1960s she also appeared onstage in “Bye Bye Birdie” and in a pair of features, starring opposite her “Van Dyke” co-star Morey Amsterdam in “Don’t Worry, We’ll Think of a Title,” and appearing in “Dead Heat on a Merry-Go-Round,” starring James Coburn.

Rose Marie made a steady stream of TV appearances from the early 1970s until the early 2000s, appearing, for example, on “Adam-12” and “Kojak”; recurring as Hilda the sandwich delivery lady on “S.W.A.T.”; appearing repeatedly in different roles on “The Love Boat”; guesting on “Cagney and Lacey” and “Murphy Brown”; appearing as a series regular on the brief 1994 sports comedy “Hardball”; and guesting on “Caroline in the City” (with Amsterdam), “Wings” and “Suddenly, Susan.” She was also a semi-regular on “Hollywood Squares” in the 1980s and ’90s.

Onstage, she starred with Rosemary Clooney, Helen O’Connell and Margaret Whiting in the musical revue “4 Girls 4,” which toured the U.S. and made television appearances for several years beginning in 1977.

In the 2000s she appeared in another comedienne’s HBO special, “Tracey Ullman in the Trailer Tales,” and returned to the “Van Dyke” fold for Carl Reiner’s animated “The Alan Brady Show” and for 2004’s “The Dick Van Dyke Show Revisited.”

Rose Marie Mazetta was born in New York City. She was married to trumpeter Bobby Guy from 1946 until his death in 1964.

She is survived by a daughter, Georgiana Marie “Noopy” and her son-in-law Steven Rodrigues. Donations may be made to Thrive and Heaven Helper’s Rescue.

First commercial movie screened

On December 28, 1895, the world’s first commercial movie screening takes place at the Grand Cafe in Paris. The film was made by Louis and Auguste Lumiere, two French brothers who developed a camera-projector called the Cinematographe. The Lumiere brothers unveiled their invention to the public in March 1895 with a brief film showing workers leaving the Lumiere factory. On December 28, the entrepreneurial siblings screened a series of short scenes from everyday French life and charged admission for the first time.
Read more »

Back to normal…

Downloading the Internet

Political Correctness

“Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical, liberal minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.”

Kegmas Tree

Kegmas Tree

Merry Christmas

Christmas Tree

Reindeer Brakes

Reindeer Brakes

Christmas Kitties

Christmas Kitties

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost

An illustration for the story Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by the author Robert Frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Clarification Needed

For my Democratic Friends:

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted new calendar year, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.”

 

For my Republican Friends:

Here’s wishing all of You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year !!!!!!!

Company Memo

Company Memo
FROM:      Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:            All Employees
DATE:        October 1,
RE:            Gala Christmas Party
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.  There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!  We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols… feel free to sing along.  And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!  A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM.  Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.  This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
________________________________

Company Memo
FROM:      Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:            All Employees
DATE:        October 2, 2009
RE:            Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.  However, from now on, we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.”  The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.  There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung.  We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
________________________________

Company Memo
FROM:      Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:            All Employees
DATE:        October 3, 2009
RE:            Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn’t sign your name.  I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA Only”, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore.  How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
________________________________

Company Memo
FROM:      Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To:              All Employees
DATE:        October 4, 2009
RE:            Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are!  I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.  There goes the party!  Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs.  Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy.  Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other.  Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.  Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.  Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food.  The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh “low sugar” fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply “no sugar” desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
________________________________

Company Memo
FROM:      Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO:            All F*%^ing Employees
DATE:        October 5, 2009
RE:            The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I’ve had it with you vegetarian pricks!!!  We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death,” as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.  But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.  They scream when you slice them.  I’ve heard them scream.  I’m hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss.  I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
________________________________

Company Memo
FROM:      Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE:        October 6, 2009
RE:            Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Joan

Resolutions

  • My goal was to lose 10 pounds.  Only 15 to go!
  • Ate salad for dinner!  Mostly croutons and tomatoes.  Really just one big, round crouton covered in tomato sauce.  And cheese.  FINE, it was a pizza.  I ate a pizza!
  • How to prepare Tofu!  A- Throw it in the trash.  B- Grill some MEAT!
  • I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider’s web!
  • I don’t mean to brag but… I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
  • A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
  • Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet thru shag carpet to change the TV channel.
  • I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented… I forgot where I was going with this.
  • I love being 50! I learn something new every day… and forget 5 others.
  • I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
  • Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Outsourced!

Outsourced

Vodka Christmas Cake

Once again this year, I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe so here goes.

Please keep in your files as I am beginning to get tired of typing this up every year!

  • 1 cup sugar,
  • 1 tsp. baking powder,
  • 1 cup water,
  • 1 tsp. salt ,
  • 1 cup brown sugar,
  • Lemon juice,
  • 4 large eggs,
  • Nuts,
  • 1 bottle Vodka (your choice),
  • 2 cups dried fruit.

Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer.

Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon of sugar.

Beat again.

At this point, it is best to make sure the Vodka is still OK.

Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 eegs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the fruit up off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit getas stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Vodka to test for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something.

Check the Vodka.

Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.

Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Finally, throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the Vodka and wipe the counter with the dog……

 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Christmas Trees

Straight

Straight to Youtube

Extravaganza!

Extravaganza